Fifty Shades of Beige
by Aleatoire
Summary: Miss Bella Swan, publishing intern, never imagined that she would fall in love with Mr. Edward Cullen, CEO. She also never imagined that he would introduce her to a world of... respectful, consensual sex and a loving relationship. Crossover/Ironic/Parody of Twilight/50 Shades. Some OOC.


**Fifty Shades of Beige**

_A Twilight fanfiction_

I couldn't believe I was going to meet him. I, Miss Bella Swan of Forks, WA, was going to meet Mr. Edward Cullen, CEO of Cullen Enterprises, and very, very rich.

I was shaking in my worn Oxfords. Yet here I was, standing outside the elevator, ready to head up to his office. Or as ready as a publishing intern, standing in for her journalist friend, possibly could be. Damn Angela for being sick today.

"I'm here to see Mr. Cullen," I squeaked out to the receptionist once the elevator door had opened. She was an average looking woman who appeared very competent, and I felt relieved. Perhaps Mr. Cullen was also old and trustworthy. He was elusive to the public; no one cared to investigate his age or appearance anyway: he was only a businessman. One worth a lot of money, I reminded myself.

"You must be Miss Swan," the motherly figure smiled, "so nice of you to conduct this interview on behalf of your friend. Mr. Cullen is a very busy man, and it would have been a shame to cancel." She led me to a door across from her desk and politely opened it for me, introducing me into Mr. Cullen's office.

"Yes, thank you," I murmured as she softly shut the door.

Mr. Cullen's office was ordinary, and very tidy. A singular photo frame sat on his regular-sized desk, the photo facing away from me, and I got curious; aside from the large framed posters of sheet music on the walls, it was the only character in the room. I began to walk towards the desk but was interrupted by a polite "hello" as Mr. Cullen strode towards me from a side door.

He extended a hand, which I shook, and I must have looked curious because he explained sheepishly, "I was in the restroom."

I nodded slowly and he indicated we take seats beside the unassuming window.

I looked at him for a moment before we began. He was young, perhaps twenty-five, if that, with an average build and slim torso. His face was politely handsome, the sort of man my grandmother would want to f –

"So, Miss Swan, what brings you to see me?" He politely interrupted my appraisal and I smiled, unabashed by his good looks. My parents, while not necessarily liberal, had educated me enough, and not repressed my sexuality so that I could now make smart decisions, and did not feel the burn of a throbbing clit at the mere sight of an attractive male. I was not, then, caught off guard in the slightest by his warm smile. No, I was only nervous because this was part of a job Angela loved, and I did not want to mess that up for her.

"I only have a few questions for you, if I may Mr. Cullen?"

"Only if I may ask you a few questions when you have finished, Miss Swan." I assumed he meant when this was to be published, etc., so I nodded and began my interview.

The questions were very boring, mostly to do with investing, but he answered them knowledgeably and always with a smile. "Well thank you, Miss Swan, I enjoyed that," he leaned back and smiled again. "Would you mind terribly if I truncated my questions to just one?"

"Of course," I answered briskly, only somewhat enjoying his stretched-back physique. Yes, he was a man, but this was business and I was no Nervous Nelly. He was, to be sure, awfully kind.

"Would you like to go for a walk with me sometime? I don't get out much these days, and it would be nice to have the company when I do get a chance."

That seemed rather harmless, so I agreed to it, stood to shake his hand, and left the room.

He followed me, having to go downstairs he said, and we caught an elevator down together. He stood a respectful distance away and as the elevator lurched to begin its descent, we began a conversation on their inefficiencies and laughed that they all seemed to share this common trait. He had a lovely personality for such a busy man. He wished me a wonderful day as I stepped out at street level, he still having to go some floors down. I had never asked what for; we'd been too busy laughing.


End file.
